It’s been over a week now. So much has happened, but I’m so tired and still confused and sad I’m not sure I want to spill my guts about it all yet. I still feel drawn to write, yet awkward about doing so. I guess my inspiration is just down. Out of whack. As broken as I feel at the moment.
I’m learning there are actual words to describe what I’ve been going through recently, and for many years in fact, and that’s both comforting and a little sad at the same time. Knowing I have a starting point for expression and help is great, but facing realities is always a difficult process. I want to just get back to some really funny stories here again, and I’m sure I will. I’m just weathering out this storm and waiting for the good stuff to come around.
I have learned this week that my onslaught of vertigo related migraines are most likely due to my use of Methotrexate for my RA, and since I have quit the injections, the vertigo has nearly ceased and the migraines have receded to happening for the “normal” reasons and only 3 in the past month instead of 18+. Now, I’m in an RA flare and must find a new med, but there are options for that and I feel that’s a compromise I’m willing to look into. My physical therapist agrees, and my Rheumatologist better get on board because well, I’m not going back on the methotrexate.
I’ve learned that sometimes the Army gets paperwork right two years later and drops a reenlistment bonus into your bank account without notice. Freaked us out at first (because usually these things are a mistake and they then take it back and it’s a HUGE ORDEAL) but this time it seems to be ours and we really need the money this month for bills. That reminds me: Make JAG appointment to update our wills. Because where the Army gives us money to live, they also want us to remember to prepare for death in a timely manner.
Pets are valuable. So are spouses/significant others and good friends and family that reaches out. It’s like a small army of people not willing to let you die mentally until you can get what you need.
I only teared up twice writing this post.